I found myself going to the grocery store just before midnight. Serving cereal with water would not be tolerated again tomorrow. I just bought a few basics, milk, bananas, WHAT, jalapeno cheetos!?! Things hadn't gone as planned today, renovating the bathroom and kitchen impromptu style, cancelling an evening meeting when Tim sent a desperate plea for me to " come home quick, there's a problems," feeding the kids fast food on the way to our adoption group at church, twisting my ankle chasing Mesay, and then sitting in a mind blowing traffic jam at 9:15 pm!!! I turned off the engine in the driveway, I found myself too tired to get out of the car after the grocery store. As I stared off into space and opened that bag of cheddar jalapeno cheetos that I randomly purchased, my mind recalled all of the crazy events of the day. I laughed about some, cringed at a few, and came to terms with some of them. There are many things we are, but slow paced isn't one of them! So, I ate and processed...
Before long my mind
drifted to our time at the tile store the day before, picking out some
new tile for our bathroom. Sounds like a dull, boring trip to the
store, eh? Not for the Shaw's! In our two hours there, I believe we
actually caused them decreased revenues. I wouldn't be surprised if
they go belly-up! First, it was the loud chasing each other around the
store that probably scared the patrons. Then Mesay started to build a
"bug" house with marble tiles during a closing sales pitch with the fine
staff. As we sat at the freshly tiled presentation space, a tick fell
from one of us onto the table. Winnie and Mesay race to catch this tick
(we were in the woods the past weekend and had a real tick problem, so
we promised them a dollar for every tick they found). Winnie proudly
grabbed the bug first and yells:"I found a bug, a real tick!! I GET A
DOLLAR! YAY mom, that means I'm up to three dollars for finding bugs!"
mortified, as Tim smooshed the bug in his hand, I tried to bring the
attention of the sales associate away from the "bugs" we brought into
her store. Mesay feels slighted though, and says very loudly, "I NEVER
get to find the bugs, Winnie finds all the bugs. I want some too. No
fair"... he then does the bug check in Winnie's hair to see if he can
earn a "bug buck" too. At this point, I can no longer make eye contact
with the employee. I hand her the credit card and turn to sign the
receipt. My kids quickly get into the display of tile sponges and
decided to give each other a brushing/exfoliating treatment inside the
bin of sponges. This turned their skin chalky white all over. We exit
quickly. Many people were staring and, to be honest, smirking and
laughing. With my first handful of cheetos, I was laughing through
tears thinking about the scene we made.
of cheesy goodness, I came across a happy little thought. Mesay had
been doing SO well the last couple months. He is boisterous and loud,
bossy and silly, but I UNDERSTAND HIM MORE NOW... I understand more
about what he needs from me. I think he is starting to understand that
we are safe. We have a rhythm, and it is working!! He verbalizes so
much more about what he wants, and you can watch him actively reminding
himself to do the right thing! His most recent likes are as follows:
watching mommy and daddy kiss (he goes wild with laughter), telling
others what the rules are, eating anything and everything with spicy hot
sauce, copying Winnie's every move, praying for his papi and grandma
Shaw's back every night (and God help you if you forget!! He get's on
ya'), and talking very loudly. He is beautiful. So is his sweet sister
who is quick to carry him around, slow to be annoyed, and eager to play with him.
contemplated for a second what the snacks were made of... If only Tim
were here, I would already know the answer and more! That brought me to a moment of reflection about my greatest earthly source of knowledge. My husband. Did he know how much I adored him?
My easily overwhelmed self was paired with a man who lets little bother
him. He dives right into new things and his excitement pulls me
overboard into the waves of adventure! I see God's hand in our
matching. Yes, I could have been a mate to someone else, and it would
have possibly worked. But...oh, the fun we have! Ok, sometimes tears
and gnashing of teeth, but mostly I was thinking fondly of our last 7
years as I quickly popped cheetos.
My mind wandered to the new car, the 20
hour ride home with the questionable decision to let the kids have rubber
band guns from Cracker Barrel. Tim reading me The Sound and Fury. Winnie reading Henry and Ribsy. Mesay wearing his "finger flashlights" and having a bladder the size of a squirrel. I loved riding shot gun, just imagining out loud what we would do if we won the mega-million.
I'd gotten a little less than half of a large bag of cheesy goodness down... I felt much
better now. I was not panicking at the thought of going back into my
house that was covered in plaster and lath. My thoughts were now turned
to the job at hand. When I walked in that door and saw the whole house
covered in plaster debris, I would walk by it. I would go up the
stairs and not freak out at the toilet that was lying inside the
bathtub. I would find that husband of mine, lying on top of the laundry
that hadn't been folded. I would wake him up and tell him that he
meant the world to me. I would kiss those kids tucked in their warm
fuzzy blankets. The rest was nothing to worry about. Nothing that a
few cheetos and a little time in the ol' station wagon contemplating
life couldn't fix.